6:54

Ready for bed.

Can’t tell if constantly wanting to go to bed early is a sign if emotional blah, adjusting back to a real work week, going too ham at the gym, not eating well, etc.

coloroutsidethelines:

My depression and anxiety are both reeling right now.

Gonna cocoon for a bit. See ya whenever

Working.

worshipgifs:

“The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.”

— Maya Angelou
(via goodreadss)

(via coloroutsidethelines)

Let’s not use alcohol to feel numb and sleep through the night.

It’s time to go outside
I’m gonna be sick for a while
It’s gonna be quite some time

The holidays were filled with cigars, tons of booze, and WAY too much food. Today I went back to “normal.” Back to the gym. Back to not overeating. Back to drinking tea.

And boy my body is not happy. Big fucking shock. 

I felt lightheaded (aka dehydration) after the workout. I felt foggy and cloudy. My body was sore. 

I know too much alcohol and smoke is bad for you, and I realize that I use it to feel numb and distract myself. It’s hard to not say “eh fuck it” and pour a drink right now to unwind.

I want to be sober the entire month - I realize this may be too much too soon, but I am committed to CrossFit and losing weight and I realize a lot of that will come with drinking less. I’m allowing myself a drink every once in a while, but I don’t want to have more than 3 in a sitting. Maybe that seems pathetic, but it would be big for me. 

Let’s see.